Last Post

As what the title said, this will be the last time i posting in this blog. Reason? I'm all over sad and heartbroken life from the past as i'd already found a future who i can live with. I might not understand her well and good enough to provide her the happiness, i know that she's trying hard to suppress her 'whatsoever bad things' to please me sometimes. cause she promise not to hurt me like how my pasts hurt me. Doing things that offending to her parents, being at the best she can so i will love her more. Extreme diet plan to slim down so she can look as hot as she can when i bring her out and make me feel proud. How silly of her. Doesn't she know that all i ever want is some one who can love me for the rest of my life? i doesn't need her to be hot, or whatever. Just love me, and i' promise i will love you back. :) I LOVE YOU

2nd Last Post of the Blog.

The broken heart start to beat again on Oct 15th, The day when it all start, how i get drunk cause is my Happy Fucking birthday, and how you get drunk cause is your heartbroken day. till the moments, where we start hanging out, drinking, chilling, traveling around, having some sleepover from time to time. It make me feel comfortable, and then i realize that i was in love all over again. Though, knowing that you're not that kind of girl that will stick around by myside, yet i still been trying hard and not giving up until i manage to get your heart. And it was a long run.. and it kills me day by day knowing that you're not home, outside drinking with some else random guy. Jealousy does kill when you care so much about that person. Really make me feel like giving up, slowly you're straying away. and so do i. I don't know whats real or whats fake anymore. So, i decided to stop this foolishness of me. No point strangling myself knowing that I ain't the one that gonna make you smile everyday, having those flirt talk and make you give a damn. 10 months gone by, and this shows that We're just another passer-by in each other life. :'( P/S I really do love you all these while. But letting you go is best for the both of us.

Feeeeeel so close to you

The moment when heart is racing like a bullet train when i hold you. <3 Damn cute when you're jealous, and i'm jealous about each other. HAHA. Epic moment, when we have wine, ciggy and Mr.bean episode IN THE BATHROOM. Every moment every second make me feel so LAM just by thinking about it. :) Had my confession toward you, so. What's next?

Boy in your life

Yea, am wishing i'm the boy that you're talking about.. the one who you miss, the one who you want. :'( but i'm just another boy thats passing by your life. Acting as if doesn't matter, but didn't you know how much it hurt inside me? Really want to be that guy for you, but no point forcing if you doesn't feel the same way i do for you. No words said for me to wait, or no action made for me to see. :'( i miss you really i do.

In your mind

Had a very very bad nightmare yest morning when i was sleeping in the car after a bit of arguement with you. hmm... didn't expect those words will hurt me that badly till a tear shed. sigh. still a torn in my heart. sometimes, i really really don't know what the fuck im doing. seeing things i shoudn't be seeing, knowing things i shouldn't be knowing, hurting myself without a valid reason.. loving some1 who doesn't seems to gaf. You didn't know how much u meant to me, when i say i love you. i wasn't flirting and i ain't lying. is a very strong term to use. and i'm not afrad of telling it to the whole world. but you're screwing me for things i said from my sincere heart and acting as if it doesn't matter. then acting as if im alright. sometimes hot, sometimes cold. i really don't know what you're thinking. having a crush on some1 that didnt give a fuck about you, and neglected that some1 who will give up the world for u. seriously? acting as if i'm alright though my heart is hurting . i ain't superhuman. :'( no matter how strong my feeling, how metal hard is my heart. feeling will still fade, and metal will still corrode. not appreciating everything infront and regreting it someday after knowing who seriously love you? maybe? maybe not. Everything about you remain a question mark to me.

It's hard

It's hard to love someone without getting loved back the same way. hmm.. like i said. It's hard. dunno how long my weak heart can tahan. Everytime is just hot and cold. How to love you fully when you don't even open up your heart and let love in? Care you, den let you say i cheong hei. fine. won't CARE anymore. still. You're the one i think of before going to bed, heart feeling uncomfortable and insomnia everytime until i know you're home safe. couldn't deny there's a part in me that's very protective. Always say u can take care yourself, always meeting out with stranger, but didn't u know that there's a lot of bad guy that will take advantage of you just like that? they can make you drunk, or they can even put drug inside your cup and make u knock off? U didn't know cause maybe u never experience before. how easy it is to get my hand on drug and drug some random lady and take them home if i want to. Sigh, suan le ba. who am i to be taking care of you till this extent of level. i Couldn't even take care of myself.

You'll never know how it feels till it hurt.

Stucking around by your side whenever you need me. Disappear from your sight whenever i'm not needed. not being some1 special eventhough i tried hard. but it's okay. :) love is not something you give out and expect to receive something else back. i well known myself is not prepare for you. i'd got no aim in life, i'm currently jobless, well. not rich, and spirit all broken down like a piece of shit at home only. failed my exams, which suppose to be my last light to life. hmm... feel i couldn't acoomplished anything in life. i feel so useless. :'( and i couldn't do a shit to help it.