Dairy Of A Broken Heart

currently.. im in dilemma whether wanna leave aviation anot. sigh. couldnt see the future in it.. and there a job for me in singapore. and i dun know wanna take it up anot. some1 teach me what to do..!!!!!! theres so many stress making me collapsing and sickness strike summo! fml.. I dint know why im so keen on working also now.. maybe there's peer pressure im facing and im not good enough to handle it myself. sigh.. planned to study one.. but theres no time for me to do so. as i set my goal d, 5k per month on the age of 25 and 10k per month by the age of 30.. im going use $ as a motivator instead of job statisfaction.. anyway, im stil young.. just hope i pass all my 13 module easa so they can last forever.. if not, the current 9 paper would last me another 2 years before all of them expired. :( FML! i need somebody to go through all these shit with me.

been a while since i ever see that face of urs, or even heard anything from u. haiz, really misses u alot. Do u rmbr? the song, miss u like crazy from natalie cole and superwoman? 5 years back... it was the 1st song and 2nd song u ever recommended me to hear. and the lyrics.. really bring back alot of images from the past. :'( i misses the time when i open my eye in the morning, :) and sees the sweetest thing that make me dun wanna get up from the bed. IMY, lbb.

" I've come to realize that we never stop loving the people who leave. We just stop needing them like we used to." It might take u a while to release ur fist of grudge, but hey... i got all the time i need in this world. :) as i ain't going anywhere without u.

Still cant find my track of career, still lost. failure in managing my financial, failure in managing my diet for body building(omfg just had a burger ayam special), failure in my studies, and failure in a relationship, a failure to date new girls out, even a failure at moving on. sigh. a long way to go if i have to list out my failure list. Haiy, how much i hope, 1 day when i received a text, ur name and face will appear on it. but that kind of hope seems hopeless. right? another hopeless part of me.

hoho! conquer mount. Angsi for the 3rd time d. no more challenge. =/ anyway, went for the climb again on monday cause my bud, chun hien and wai hoh here nvr hike b4. so, me, jl, kel, and sean company them for another hike. it was fun as usual. this time we went on super fast speed, started 11am and reached the summit at 2.15pm. rested up for 45 min and down down here we go. stopped by the stream for a drink, and wtf are they thinking to walk down stream. but tak sampai 50meter already patah balik cause current too strong and the rocks are hurting our bare foot. Then, we stopped by half way for a bath at the stream. well, they bath lar. i take pict ny. haha. by 6pm we're already down hill and off to seremban for steamboat. tired like hell but stil went for work the second day. finishing my internship d. tmr last day interview, but im so lost. sigh. dun know wanna do well or sucks in the interview. cause if i do good, i might become permanent but cfm56. i'd nvr touched that engin...

i wonder from time to time, 'wtf am i doing in this aviation industry anyway? arent gonna be any future for us chinese in aviation. as MAS(the only company who provide type rated license course in Malaysia) [which is what u need to earn big $ in aviation] are more likey to send their own 'race' to it only. Sigh. I got my aim i got my dream, my aim? earn at least 10k by age of 30. my dream? being happy with my love's one. no matter what i do. But can i really make those aim and dream come true with the current dilemma and in this tough industry? hmmm.. why am i in aviation at the first place anyway? to Think back, i wasnt a guy that know anything about aircraft, or traveling or whatever thing about aircraft. i dun even know how's a Boeing 737 look like anyway even until i finish my course. (perhaps that may show u my 'intrest' in aviation). But why do i choose this field back then? Hmm.. started back when there's this one special fella, that always tell m...

have you ever wonder, if u ever given 3 wishes by a genie, or maybe a time capsule to travel back to the past for few days or maybe more? what will u do? for me, i'll wish for the world not ending so soon yet(if it were to happen soon due to the mother nature rampage recently) 2nd, i'll wish for every1 to get healthy or maybe wish a couple of billions to spend? thirdly, maybe send me back 2 yrs ago? time flies, and everything seems to fade, but i wish something aren't. maybe there's something that lasts longer than it seems? well, i hope so though. !@#$ *slap slap* back to reality jeremy. back to reality.