Dairy Of A Broken Heart

Its 12.00am 30/09/11. All i want to do to give u a call and say happy birthday, but i dun have the gut to do so, as knowing that u won't pick up the call it only will make my heartache.. So, .. Silently... i wanna wish u a happy beloved birthday, all the best in ur life. *heart and hugs, :) Ur 16th http://i1119.photobucket.com/albums/k639/Jere0407/DSC02515.jpg And your 18th http://i1119.photobucket.com/albums/k639/Jere0407/DSC00794.jpg

Had the sweetest dream yesterday. :) a dream that i don't wanna wake up from. i dreamt about us. just me and you and how u cheerish every second of my life. But however it still just a dream, there's a second there were i opened my eye and thought everything is real, until i realize the next second, u weren't here anymore. felt some bitterness inside my heart and hope that i would live my dream once again. hmm.. IMY.

"We ignore one another& try to pretend the other doesn't exist, But Deep Down, We both know it wasn't supposed to end this like this. " I know my mind had move on, but my heart doesn't think that way. I miss u still.

Here we go again. in a blink of an eye, time flies and its end of the month. and its been 2 years. Don't even know why am i still blogging for. lol. but at least i can tell what i wanted to tell without any1 knowing it. heh, hopefully no1 is reading this. Oh well, yea.. eventhough i don't wanna admit it. but i know the fuck-up side of me is missing her damn much. after she left, there's this big hole inside of me, which i tried so many ways to cover it back up but, after time goes and effort put into action. nothing much changes, except the distance. Been wondering to myself lately, what if that day i dint make that mistake? Life would goes like this :- finish work, find gf chill - weekend and feeling hype? take off on fri and drive down to some beach side or wherever just you and me, 3 days 2 nights break. - feeling down in the night? just a phone call and u'll be beside me hugging me through the night. - after salary payroll, bring you to shopping and buy u something ...

Like i said, im tired of being alone. it may sound crazily fun to be single, but its actually quite lonely. Eg. 1) no1 to say goodmorning goodnight, or to wake some1 up in the morning or talk some1 else to bed. 2) phone doesn't ring often, and how much u wishing it to ring or even to ring some1 for reason or no reasons. 3) hard to find some1 to by urside when u really need somebody. im so fed up of finding people to company me go shopping that i'll just have to do it by myself. YES, alone. 4) time to time, how much i wishes i could use all my salary to buy something for that someone that worth it, just to see her smile at least. =) 5) stilll a lot more reason why im tired of being alone. FML, im in the #foreveralone list. =( p/s. how much i wish u were here and doesnt hate me. imylbb..

Sight at kenyir lake our houseboat toilet. gua bewah sungai cacing handsome with the fish. foot massage. =D cannonball! waterfall tarzan!

yea, i just went kenyir lake last fri night with the company and some of my fren. and it was awe---someness. i'll be writting down what i had gone through in a sequence manner. :D Fri-midnight: worked all day as well as night, then went for a yc section with ly. took off from klang at 12am and picked up adrian and saimun, den we meet with the others at gombak toll at 1.30am. den all the way down to terrenganu, 7 hours plus of long drive! stopped by twice though, and lucky adrian was there to switch drive with me when it comes to kampung road where u cant drive 140-150km/h hahaha.. Sat- early morning 10am, reached the jetty and up to the houseboat, 1st destination 4 hours boat journey to gua bewah. so i slept under the hot sun to wait, cause the ldr dint tell us that we can go to our room. =.= thats how i get my sun burn. nothing much is gua bewah, just really stink with bat shits and pitch dark caves which i cant see anything without my torchlight. after then we stopped by sungai c...