Feeling Emo. Again.

idk why m i posting this either. =.=" guess, im just so fuck up with my reality, so i just wish to create an own dream place of mine through words.

Sigh, is been 8 months without her d. can u imagine that? 8 months? and there's still no turning point in our relationship. will this nightmare really continue? until the day when i wake up, and receive a wedding invitation from her, only i will realise that is the reality? i really don't know why she wouldn't even try.. hmm... am i really that sucks to be some1 else mr.right? or im just mr.not right after all?? argh!!

so fed up, when i think of us used to be one, we go everywhere together, eat together, sleep together, and whatever also, there's me and you. but now? is just reality. hmm.. u wont know how much i would give up, just to have those days again. i miss it when i used to put my hand on the passenger seat when im driving, holding her hand, and i still got that pratice till now, but.. what im holding is just the empty seat, and holding a feel of regret, guilt, and sorry. really hope next semester, we can TRY to get along. at least. since is my last already. then after that.. i dun think we will have any chances of living out our college life already. miss you lil brown.. pls come back.

i wanna know.

"I wanna know what turns you on

So I can be all that and more

I'd like to know what makes you cry

So I can be the one who always makes you smile

Girl he never understood what you were worth, hmm no

And he never took the time to make it work

(You deserve more loving, girl)

Baby I'm the kind of man who shows concern, yes I do, oh

Anyway that I can please you let me learn

So I wanna know

Tell me what I gotta do to please you

Baby anything you say I'll do

Cause I only wanna make you happy

From the bottom of my heart, it's true

I wish that I could take a journey through your mind, alright

And find emotions that you always try to hide babe, oh

I do believe that there's a love you wanna share, oh, oh

I'll take good care of you lady, have no fear, oh

So I wanna know"

I wanna know, JOE

seriously, i wanna know... ur hidden feeling. eventhough u might always think im the the right wan, but i already found my mrs.right in my life. but as they say, forcing won't bring happiness.. but i don't wanna regret in future that i dint do anything now to bring u back. so, i will try all that i could, and praying hoping, one day. u will come by me and say, 'hey' :) in times, when i feel is the right time to let go, i will. let go, and wishes you all the happiness and love to you, which i couldn't provide anymore. baby girl.. im sorry. and i love you, eventhough how much miserable, harsh, hurtful, things or words that u done or said to me. loving is always to be forgiving no matter what shyt came by. do text me, but not saying hurtful things for once. miss you..

dairy updated. =)

"You cant make some1 love you,

all you can do is to be some1 who can be loved,

the rest is up to the person to realize your worth,

how much do i still worth then?"

Mon: ordinary day that started with pool and end with pool,. so does tues. sigh.

WeD! yaya, decided to have a drinking nite as is been a while since i drink till 'sufficient' already. haha. bought a ballentine, and old scotch whisky which taste quite smooth on the rock.and after that 5 bottle of beers.. spend the nite out with yuki, william, jayson, and after that yuri came and join us at my old meeting spot.. There're music, Breakdance, crap talk, and 'jayson on my car's roof and front window' when i was going 120km/h. LOL... drink up from 11.30 till 6. =)

thurs~ lets see.. class at 1-3(skipped) class from 4-5(attended) hv to spend a while on coll after class. hang around with yuki til is time to pick my sis from sunway. after that. spend the nite on 记得食in ss2, and went on drinking in chulo pub with kary. there're 2 new pub that's opened in jaya 1, one was madrid bar, and another muse pub.. which play nice, pop, and LOUD song all nite long. next time wanna go there d!! xD

that's all for the week..

MEIJI PIN KAN. xD i miss you baby

"everyone wanna be your sun that light up your life,

but i rather be the moon that shine on you in your darkest hour when your sun isnt around'

is been a week since i blog. is been few months too since i sees her face. =) can i say it was a coincidence? or what? hah.. anyway.. in the end of the day, i still see her..she still so cute yet so fierce, and she still hate me in a way i know that she stil miss me. is like planet earth hitting mars again only. well.. i dun mind if i been hit few times as long as i can see her. hope we can get along better soon. next semester is starting soon. and can i say? what you got in coll now is me, and what i got in coll is her. cause, yes.. we know.. that u dun like to hang around with that bunch and so does i. We'll see...

Yesterday.. lets see.. went to dinner and pool like usualwith yuki, william, yuri and jayson. but this night is follow up by a crazy karaoke session.. haha. and guess what. suddenly i got an exam tmr? essays questions all the way? FML, and i left my bag in my friend room.. ended up nvr study anything until the 2 hr b4 exam and i got an hour spare to chit chat with yuki. haha. Fuck the exam. so much fun i had for yest. and im all alone in room this nite. i even took maggie as my dinner. =( but will have fun tmr nite. =D booz booz.. here's i come.. wan u so badly!

SS2

Alright! Another week has gone by, a week closer to holidays, also mean another week closer to finals. =( been very headache about the trip that christine is planning! argh! if really no choice den i wont wanna go d. save $ save my headache and take the $ go drink better.. =/

Anyway, i watched How MANU did their routine job, which is winning, this time over AC MILAN 4-0 :D manu manu glory! wish she was there to cheeer with me, we could put on MANU jersey and yell together, GOAL!! woo!!! *clap clap* >.<>

Woke up 12.30 the next day, and skipped 2 classes for the day, or should i say, all class? i've been feeling myself very useless lately, sigh.. go die better jeremy. fri movie nite has been move early to thurs movie nite already, so i drove all the way to garden to get tickets for alice in wonderland which is 8.15p.m., so i got time to go back home makan den took off again with kary. went to murni after that with her, and the 1st instand i notice, Y IS THERE SO LESS TABLE?! anyway, went and wait until i notice this notice on the hallway,

"kepada pelanggan yang dihormati, MBPJ hanya menbenarkan restoren ss2 meletakkan 20 meja sahaja di kaki lima"

=.="

anyway, here a pic of my self, taken during my way to buy ticket, is been a while though, i used this highway, stuck in this jam, having a some1 beside me, is been really a while..... sees these building really makes me think back the time in PJ. misses you a lot girl.. when only you'll stop torturing me? :'(

urgh! im poor and im bored!

" And though she's so far away.

It just keeps getting stronger everyday

and even now she's gone

I'm still holding on

So tell me, where do I start

'Coz it's breakin' my heart

Don't wanna let her go

Maybe my love will come back someday

Only heaven knows

And maybe our hearts will find a way

But only heaven knows

And all I can do is hope & pray

'Coz heaven knows.

My friends keep telling me

That if you really love her,

You've gotta set her free

And if she returns in time

I'll know she's mine "

heaven knows, price rick

Cant do anything anymore right now. all i can do is wait, and hope she's feeling the same as me. Let's leave it all to faith.

Aww... is a god damn boring day, was planning to go greenbox dis noon, but tak jadi cause cant wake up in time... whole day jz lying down sleep and on9 only.. so as the nite, cause overspent whole week money yest nite.. imagine, one nite at nilai spent 109? wtf? and i nvr even drink.

yest, went giant shopping, pool whole nite and yam cha til 5am? lifeless i tell you. and done something damn fucking crazy with yukiko Tay!! muahahahaha. thats all folk.. taz...

What is love? It's when everything is not okay, confusing and hurting but still you just want the same person over and over again...at least, that's is how i felt. i love you baby.

Even

"It's love because i want you to be happy,

even if it means you'll go on without me,

even if it means its going to kill me everyday,

even if it means we can only be 'friends'

even if it means i'll spend everynight alone,

even if it means you won't love me back,

it's love baby. treat me like a stranger,

and let our love start,

all over again."

is hard knowing that promises are meant to be broken. heh.. even if is the last promise u ever made to me, u wont know how much it hurt, u nvr felt. u thought u felt the worst, but u nvr knew how worst felt like. hmm... is the 4th of march. i hate myself for letting u go. :'(

back from nilai, another lazy yet emo day, always drive home alone.. where times pass so slow without some1 beside to let me hold her tiny hand. sigh.. went to movie, finally.. after so long... along with kary, jun and wh.. ish.. whole nite give kary take pistol aiming my head calling me a liar.. which i partially did, cause of goodness. =) lies are divided into 2 cat, one is to be forgiven and another is not to be forgiven, i lie... for the goodness, but y aren't i forgiven until today?

Asshole

If she woulda answer no, wont, and dun... i might proberly given up already, but she, told me... something diff. that still give me some of tat tiny hope which suddenly make me dun wanna let go. There she goes again, but dis time, she called me an asshole instead. =)

Let See How Far Our Love Will Take Us.

AND DIS AINT AN EMO BLOG! is a blog to be readen by some1. xD