Dairy Of A Broken Heart

Is been quite a day~ and guess what, she dont need 7 day, she jz save the 6 day of her and my life and jz used 1 day. lol. spending my whole noon at hse, nite? cw promised me a movie, so we went for jennifer's body~ it was okay lar the movie.. and megan foxx is fuih~~~ hot.... haha.. after that kel, wh and wh was waiting for me in jeth but i nvr go find dem cause cw say wanna drink tea.. so we went for yam cha... and that's the time i get to kn0w the decision that will forever change my life.. As i always say.. thing would't.. nO.. should say.. things will nvr go the way u planned.. after that went for pool til 3am.. and here i'm blogging.. with tears.. and everything erased from me.. except from my inner heart.. hope she'll do fine from now on.. =) is a new path for me from now.. HELLO WORLD!

Arh~~ is fri night, and is time for a break! finally weekends is here~ and ya... is fri night, and im here blogging cause im too lonely and there's nth for me to do, wanna catch a movie, but the person who used to catch every movie with me is not here anymore, wanna take a chill on some cafe, but she's not here anymore, wanna take a drink at culno, and yet. there's no1 here with me anymore. haiy.. im sitting down here, regreting all the things that i done to hurt her. that un-recoverable pain.. only if she given me a chance to cure those pain for her. eventhough i stil give her time, but.. isit im the one that been lying to myself all these while? isit that i knew the answer already, but always try to say give u time think bla bla.. so that i won't hear from u.. that's it over? :'( i really love you.. if there's a chance given, i won't be the person who i used to be anymore, new life, new chapter, new beginning, and a new me.. If there's a risky chan...

My weekdays go on stil like normal weekdays, class 8~12, 1 to 5~ tired... but look at the bright side. i got whole morning to sleep tmr! haha.. went for the chinese society event and KIAN TECK perform eh.. siao siao.. looking smarter d, unlike form5 d.. haha. my planning doesn't go as as i planned as usual~ sry for making her angry, because too hungry and my bad planning! gastric faster get well den i bring u go makan ho liao!! Hehe.. that's all for today. oh! ya.. i did something else today, which i can say 0.01% of the 19yrs old kid like me would do for thier gf or even is ex-gf! i dunno im too in love or jz too dumb. anyway, i won't regret it. ~.~ nite all~

Y isit so hard to watch a movie when the person who used to watch movie with you everyweek has gone? darn it! out of all those that i ajak, 2 busy, 2 WONT watch english movie and poof.. jz when i thought i'd found her to watch movie with me, but she FFK me!! and together with me rest of the plan i planned.. sien.. but there's alwiz back up right? went sunway for lunch and call cerd out for movie! and dey say CAN!!! i was so excited until i see the time of the movie. -,- as i expected what she'll say.. 'movie too late lar'. argh!!! last solution!!! im watching the fking movie alone so i don't have to fan bout it anymore.. 20 more min movie starting d.. hav to chao d.. =) *to the girl who is sick~ pls get well soon..will pray for u in the silent..

Arh~!! a day with some meaning.. is been a while since i hv a day like these... my love one hasn't been around with me anymore.. days has been so dull so sad without her~ but at least i did something today!! i went jj->pool->mamak->cc with kel den back to shop to work den i sneak out to cc again with kel and kao hao den to siu yeh with family~ love the feeling of having some1 by my side.. eventhough is jz batang.. but is banana batang!!! haha.. miss the laughter of em' Off to bed~ *sry jl cnt mamak~ very full and tired d. =.=

finally finished exam! such a relief.. but i wouldn't wanna know my result.. sure die wan.. cause i dint been studying due to too many things goes in and out from my mind.. sigh.. heard something bout u today.. well.. im cursing now. =) the childish wan i mean.. not the lovely wan. whether to believe or not to believe, me myself know from the lil brown bear i kno.. and stop lying d k? not good.. but good for me.. =P anyway.. im back in home.. jz wanna work and try to put it all aside for now while she make up her mind.. nite world.. nite girl. =)

jealousy is used to be my middle name like u know.. so does urs huh? jz dunno y it hit me so hard when i think of it.. things which u used to say to me, but now u are saying it to another. and what i can do is just watch and look from behind. feel like jz take a knife and stab my self also n0t that hurt. when dis only will over? what happen if im the one who is having another out there now and all u can do is watch and wait for me? and u says i change jz cause to get u bac? ya.. after tht i will change back? no.. y would i let a person i love ever walk away from my life again after i know the importance of you? y would i don't appreciate u anymore after what v've gone through? hmm.. each day i see u walk further and further with my own eye.. wondering when you'll turn ur head and walk back. when dis pain only will over? and what are u doing now?? hmm.. worth u do all those things to yourself mer? i hate it okay? just wake up already!! no mood for exam. fk digital fk furn...

Can any1 tell me? is there a possible to see some1 else love with your eye close? with your heart against it? with hate? with belongs to others? See me change. but how are u gonna do that with ur mouth saying all those things to other guy everyday? isn't it very childish to be with some1 to forget some1 which u stil in love with? so many questions on my brain.. which earth in dis planet that doesn't get rained b4.. learning from mistakes and growing up, appreciate things more, eye opened to see things more. is all a part of life. beg u take off those shade in your eye and start seeing things... im not worth for u to do all those things to yourself. pls don't make yourself c***p~ i'll be there for u.. jz don't cross the line and remembered what u promised, the last 3 yrs and last 2 week. big brown bear will always be the big brown bear u once knew.. but will lil brown bear be the lil brown bear he once knew? god knows.. Won't let u shed another sad tears. sorry i...

"Faith brought me into your life, and now, faith brings us apart" really been a moody day f0r me. done things that a moral person shouldn't done, done things that an ex shouldn't done.. and what my curiousity get me. is my hear being torn to million pieces, burn, and powdernized it after that thr0w into the sea along with the wind.. yea.. dramatic.. Jz hurt so much that i don't believe that 1% of hope stil exist already. pls tel me that it stil exist? hmm... doesn't matter if all those hurt me again. But i really afraid of seeing her again. so i've been trying to avoid her the whole day. AND she's sick! makes me god damn worry.. but no use.. everything also n0 use already. Days where i used to accompany her along the bed to wait for her to slp are over. but i stil wish that she'll feel much better tmr.. hope jenn wil tc of her nicely. =) *silent hug from me* get well~

"stop interrupting my life!" and "i alwiz need you". doesn't these two phase are totally against each other? or im the one that misund cause too perasan? what do u need me for anyway? to drive u? to get u dinner? to help u in math? or u need me because u stil love me? IDK!!!!! and i hate seeing u.. avoid trying to see u, or talk to you already.. every sight i laid on you makes my heart melt and everytime when i see him finds you, makes my heart crush. can any1 tell me what is going on?! argh~ i hate my life~~

Jz or shld i say prince of the day? there arent a king without his queen.. and i dont have a queen.. =( tried to emo over today..hope to celebrate today with her at goldcoast, with a candle light dinner, alcohol, a walk in the beach with camera on my hand taking picts.. but, lik what i say 'things doesn't really goes the way u wanted it to be... so here's h0w i pass my 19th.. havent 12am, jun,kel,gideon,mic, all come bring me go pool d.. same time cw also coming.. ~.~ so end up.. i went steamboat with cw, a drink with louisa, and mamak with jun dey all after dey finish pool~ing.. next day went to pyramid with jenn and jos.. my god.. dint knew the last time i saw jenn was 4 yrs ago.. =.= and i saw hong in pyramid! a guy which, same hse, same course, same class, same birthday with me.. haha.. small world.. after that went back and back up to nilai.. and was kinda upset to myself.. for dint fetching her.. i wan2 fetch her, but i duwan to breakdown again.. every eye i laid on h...

Cheese!! my cousin sis chose the cake for me =.= My lil brat cousin from singapore~ Let's see.. is my birthday eve.. and im wondering h0w to not celebrate it.. cause i really g0t no mood to celebrate anything =.= got up early in the morning for some dim sum with my aunts and parent.. guess what. they g0t me an early birthday cake celebration which i dint expect at all.. O.O Night, got to work.. and i g0t a pool invitation and a poppy invitation a temple visit(due to my chinese birthday and english birthday clash on the same day) and my own invitation(stay at home emo~ing).. which shld i go then? things was nvr been dis complicated when i g0t her around.. she makes all the plan and i.. got a company through the whole day without any worries.. =) but n0w that she's gone.. i gotta plan myself d.. fed up.. Wish that she'll be here.. Miss u ..

my Cute ass baby~ It was form5 back then at my hse~ Place of where our lips 1st touch~ Ya, like how i say.. life is a big joke.. love is a big game that i cant afford to play anymore.. i'm all alone now.. reason? because i don't appreciate what i had once ago.. and when i try to get it back.. is all too late.. ppl change, heart changed and love also changed.. what can i do? whatever that i care for her, she scold me control, yell at me to get out from her life.. and yea.. here im.. gotten out from her life and start to blog 'Jere's life without her'.. is been more tahan 2 months since v broke off.. seems so long dis two month.. i miss the smell of her hair, miss the touch of her hand, the tiny body of her which required a big fat fella like me to hug to warm her when she's cold.. aww.. and the sweet face of her that make me smile everytime i look at her.. if my ego wasn't that high that time and jz apologize and say yes.. thing wouldn't gotten dis wa...