Dairy Of A Broken Heart

I hate snooker.. =.=bloody fk 4 games lose 40.. u can't ask a pool player to g0 play snooker right? promise my self won't play snooker ady. =X I hate smoking as well. A day half pack makes my breathe smell bad. But Jz for social lar. haha. I hate roti canai in the middle of the nite also. makes me gain back my freaking weight cz everynite i also mamak and Teh O Ais~ diu... I hate driving alone to coll. boring and sleepy. only way to keep myself entertaint is loud music and 160km/h + lil bit potong potong. I hate being lonely. it makes me think stuff that i duwan to think and heart wil jz bleed. hmm. I hate being a faker. what's the point being some1 that isn't u and fking lying to yourself? Jz be truth to yourself and life wil go on easier~ I hate ppl that lie. I hate myself for that also. so i g0t no comment. =X I hate ppl telling me in the ears what she and him is doing or at where or whatever bullshit fk up stories. .l. I hate You, for being a liar which lies more th...

Let's See what junk hav i did today? urm~ wake up, bath, breakfast, work, upload photos, den slp.. den since is holiday.. shop lot ppl.. den work until very busy as my lil bro and sis is enjoying themself in langkawi by now.. after that, went for ninja assasin in jj with josephs and fin.. Is a kick ass movie! haha. damn chun! and after movie was like 2.15am. fetch fin and her bro back. lepak a while at her hse. cz both joseph is talking bout car and im busy playing with johnson! is fin's golden retriever.. damn cute! haha.. den went mamak and do some guy talk, heart talk. and guess who i saw? =.= yuri tay~ small world, small msia, small town.. there's so many ppl i wish i can meet and say hi on the street, but there only one that i dun wish to see her and him no matter where i go. I read, i heard, i feel and it hurt me bad enuf, but if i see it with my own eye. it will be killing for me. hmm.. p/s thks to a glass of green scotch on rock. im going to bed now.everything seems...

Love, can sometimes really be a joke to fool with. just a word, a paper, and some tears. make u hold on back to everything. thinking that there's some hope. mess around with ur feeling, and doing stupid things, hopeless thing that u keen on doing it eventhough is foolish.... every word she says u trust, u believe in 101%, but when u turn ur back for a moment, she stab u in ur back straight through the heart. heh. Is painful, but pain isn't anything new to me. is something that i've been holding onto for the pass 4months. i dunno when it wil end, or will it end? the scar, the ink, the love is already carve deep under me. sometimes it might be a sweeetdream and sometimes it might be a nightmare. but whatever it is.. i dun wish to wake up as long as u are in the dream. the Pain that i felt is something to prove that u're stil here, stil exist within me. and it wil never go away i can tel.. hmm.. y? so many things i dun und.. but the ans u gives me, it doubted me. and thing...

Lil bit of sweetness jz like you Jz another boring day in coll.. skipped all class.. and watching gundam at room. =D imagine how slack i can get. but who cares, is jz the revision week after all. Yukiko ar yukiko~ y things can get so ngam wan in dis world? wanted bring her go goldcoast makan, but when i msg her, she's der d. wtf! =.- forget bout that, jz hv to bring her der next sem lor. im waiting for u to come back, hungry dao~~~ T.T sob.. ended up eating maggie. jz have to wait til she free only go find her lor. While waiting, i was trying to resize photos taken in melaka. damn.. cb making me frustrated only. hav to choose, open, resize, save, den upload! i couldnt find a software that can make the opening and resize fast! argh!!!!!! im so frustrated bout it! any pro can help? =( Yet again, i was thinkin bout what she say to me yest. eventhough is jz a lil of her heart, but enough for me to keep living nicely. i hope u remember what u promise, i will do what i promise as well. 2...

Jz came back from my one day tour in melaka. =D is been more than 10 yrs since i've been there already. and thanks my mummy is understanding enough to gimme extra pocket money for the trip. as im so broke n0w.. =) Let's get on with the story.. kel, so cal msia time which is suppose to be 8 but turn out to be 8.45, and v drove they with our own car. As he is gonna overnite and im gonna go back to study tmr. T.T WE GOT NO GUIDE! And der u go, 冤枉路.. a lot of 冤枉路. But we stil manage to reach where we wanted to go. =) thks to me. LOL. >. 1stly, reach at 11+, den go jonker streeet, search 30min for parking. N went for Chicken Rice Ball! >. Evening time~ lets see. .Went to the portugese fort for a visit, and after that dunn0 wer the heck to go eat, so we went back to jonker to try the other stall of chicken rice. haha.. buy some 小食while walking also. so damn fking full.. And SATAY CELUP!!! been finding for whole day. and now that im fucking full.. U APPEAR!! summo 2 stall!! ish...

Okay, im here blogging.. 2.27a.m. while awaiting my death to arise. is exam of 3 paper in about 6 more hours.. and i nvr really touch any book yet.. die anot? And i wed whole day class, i skipped whole day, and i slept whole day.. until 8pm.. Geng ler? and i felt down jz n0w, hurt my leg so badly. =( but i wont change my slipper!! never ever!!!! >. *photo are cont on the previous post*

2 weeks b4~ 2 weeks later~ (-@@-) Happy birthday Yuki! =) *p/s Pls don't kill me for uploading ugly photos of u. =P Shirley~ No thks, I'm full.. =p P/s I hate fighting with u.. and u nvr gimme a chance to prove that i've changed.. 爱露又..

'i thought she was perfect she thought i was perfetct too perfect till she found some1 new now im stuck in here watching her i can't take this abuse what does this guy do that i cant do? Take me away right now... ... ' Plain white T's, all that we needed Jz what i needed to sing my situation out. nitez!

2012--checked! went 1u for 2012 today with louisa, john, and another fren of louisa~ quite nice the movie~ but too bad almost 98% of the human population dies~ or maybe lesser? =.= how many person can afford a 1B euros ticket per person?! i dun think my life cost 1B also~ haha.. pityful and nice story. to my reader, it is a mz watch!! after that, went for marche at the street for dinner, which is like a market place~ enviroment was okay lar.. but i dun like the food there.. jz took salad. then we went library for tetley after that.. i hope i get the beer name correct~ haha.. have to thank john good enuf to spend me the beer and thank me good enuf to buy my sis, louisa a shot of slippery niple~ what a shot to be remember huh? k, im so tired now. going to bed! nitez my love!

Fuih~~~ thurs nite was a blast~ damn long nvr club d.. been almost 2 months.. Haha.. and guess what, what a 'small dance floor', i met chun hien there! party along with him all nite! reach back coll around 5+ and i was amazed that i stil can make it for the 8am class.. After class, 12pm, went back.. hv to fetch hong to Pj, sun bin drop at 1u buy 2012 movie ticket.. Q for 30min. ~.~ damn and i hate 1u.. too big for my pity feet to walk! Argh! nite time, joseph and joseph ajak pergi pool at sunway, planning to go 2nd round with kel, but too tired d.. Jz finish uploading some picts in Fb~ nite all~ Here some sneak peak of Some of the photos~i nvr really take pic though.. >.

without realising, is already thurs nite d~ without realising also~ monday to thurs also same ppl company me dinner~ xD mon- i see she eat, tues-i see her, she see me no eat, wed-she see i eat, and thurs v both eat~ LoL.. finally i feel the mood~ a while later i will be finally partying! xD been a while since i went to club d~ hope i hv fun tonight.. =)

"mayb kao hao was right, this is just a blog to express my feeling towards u.. hmm.. think things are too late to go back d huh dis moment? tell the truth, i very bu sheh de, i very want u eventhough u hurt me break my heart so many times.. but forcing u to be with me will got no happiness... that's y i love you enough, to let u go away from my life~ i love you, that's y all i ever wanted u to be is to be happy, no matter u be with who.. baby happy den darling forever will be happy.. starting to feel my heart is walking away from u d.. OJT, 4 months, u wont be in coll anymore.. that time i already fully let u go d.. i hope those times is enuf for me to forget u.. 3 years 1 month.. all ended just lidet. u started this relationship and u ended it as well. hope your life wil really be better without me, i also will live my life to fullest d~ no more things will drag me from moving forward anymore~ i hope i can do it like how i say it, that scar however will hurt a while from ...

Tired~ im so tired the whole day, and i of officially take action bout my diet plan d.. 'an apple a day make the doc go away, and 4 apple a day make jere thin!' yes, im torturing myself, breakfast a apple with egg and oatmeal, lunch, vege and apple, and dinner, 2 apple.. with a lot lot of water the whole day.. nvr took diet so serious b4, went for morning jog and also evening i will do some jog, swim if not will play frisbee! which i actually jz joined last week~ u'll nvr know how's a person word will change others lifestyle~ LOL.. and damn i glad water and electricity bill is finally cleared.. =.= owe til almost 500, wallet pain lor 1 ppl 100~ >. After class i went to giant for grocerries, and then wanted to play frisbee but ended up helping mr.jonathan arrange the hanger workshop~ aiks.. den i jog back! haha... thats all for today, very tired.. going to bed d.. nite!

'I saw a customer of mine that makes me remind of u in the first sight~ her fringe, her nose, her face shape, her big big eye, and small skinny hand~ all also same like urs de~ 90% familiar.. really make me thought is u.. hmm.. den suddenly heart pound and i know i miss u in that sudden.. i really miss u. but i know is impossible anymore.. don't worry.. i will pull myself together and will forget u in all mean.. clock is ticking, and i will make it~ hang on jere! just till sem break den u won't have to see her anymore~ u got 4 months to totally wipe her off ur mind! u can do it i know~ Even, she used to be my life and i used i used to be her life.. but now isn't anymore she belongs to other ppl life and i belong to all' She LALA post again~ went for movie again with cerd~ hehe.. makan bbq plaza and after that movie till 7.30~ she's an money eater.. spend her movie d summo wanna fight with me over bbq plaza bill! asshole k u bro~!! haha.. after that back shop and...

"Jz another day pass without have to sad cause of u~ well.. i got a glimps though~ when i saw those pic~ but i dun giv a fk anymore. and thanks god i wasn't stupid enuf to buy u N'5, since some1 already planned to buy for u d. save up my 410 and since buy d also no meaning, cause i suddenly kinda got that stupid thinking of getting what u wan when i see u wan that perfume.. like alwiz i did b4, getting things that u wanted. but now i dun hav d lur~ save money.. go buy go spend things that got meaningful. im a fool.. a fool that used to trust what u say, and a fool will always be a fool. good9.. i will force myself to let go.. all i got is friends. at least they dun ever leave me" Like i say it~ slack day.. haha.. whole day almost slacking and dint help my mum out.. >. .

"What's this feeeling inside of me? is so un-describeble, thinking so mess up, dunno which i shld follow. which thinking to follow? A part of me, ask me to forget her, ignore her, let her die herself. she done too many things to hurt u d. hurt until your heart get hurt again also numb d no feel d, not worth for u jeremy. Another part tell me, she done all those things because of me, hurting her at the 1st place, and she do all those thing is no wrong, jz forgive her and not to ignore her. While another part is telling me, think carefully when u make that choice, cause it might the final choice u made for her. u stil love her, u stil wan her deep inside of me. jz let things be and things mayb wil get clear one day. but u will bear all those pain with u while u waiting for that 1% miracle.. and it all will worth someday cause u stil love her deeply.. What should i do? thinking so mess up.. also got those 'got no got' thinking coming in and out frm my mind. I thi...

"im so angry im so piss im so out of control now, that i wish u would just die now. i need time to cool down. hmm.. dunno y morning time, something hit me and it really bring my mood down. i've been wondering, thinking and feeling the pain for the whole morning, afternoon and now. it even get worst after u FFK me. sien. i shlda know that a person bullshit cant be trusted for another time. this is what i get after trying to make myself to hope. fk it lar.. i shouldn't hope anymore. mutha fker lies and bullshit, and revenged is taken all by u d.. more than enuf d.. hope u happy with the status i'm now lor. i used to think that my heart is really hard and solid and always thought can take up and let go something really easily. but i found out is not that easy, and i don't think that i can do it either. u're touch that will make my heart heal and a word frm u will make my heart crush. Yea, i'm the emotional dog now. hand are bleeding and heart are crying. u...

"u're a really really sucks drinker do u know that? =.= but i have the happiest nite on my emo days~ cause i stil kn0 that i'm inside there somewhere. the situation get until dis stage also not your fault, is just a silly mistake that u made out of anger, a silly mistake u made that can't be fix or un-do.. hmm.. i know that what happen yest night won't change a single thing between us. at least i hope u stil can live happily, and pls dun make another silly mistake okay? i also won't ignore u d. cause i know. whatever u do, whatever u say, or whatever i see or know, wont hurt me anymore. cause jere's heart already broken and cant be broken another time liao.. it wont heal d. hehe.. thats y im happy go lucky. i dont care what happen between u and others d. i just wanna do things that won't suficate me any longer." tmr exam day, 3 paper~ T.T skipped 3 out of 4 class today~ LoL. after dat went swimming and met christine and michelle and jian ming there...

"really hate u, hate you for fooling around with my heart! how many time had u actually given me hope and jz walk away lidet and repeating the same thing over and over again d?! 5 times in the pass 2 months k! and is the 6th times today! jz the same as breaking and breaking a heart that is healing slowly.. in this rate i will nvr heal from the wound. Hmm.. Is true that i stil got love for u, but all... is doens't mean anything already for u, so why does it hav to mean anything for me? y are u talking jealousy word? u outside can find i cannot find?! u wanna change ur number and buzz off den u do as u like okay. jz remember what jere boi always says and always promise" 1st thing i get up in the 6, is a fking cramp on my leg! and no1 can save me~ T.T been suffering there in sleeping mood~ haha.. and Is been another busy day in coll~ mood went from normal to emo~ haiy.. and i learnt something funny from class today, is a principle of how the engine runs. SSBB (suck squueze, ...

' h0w consistant can u get when u suddenly turn ur life up side down and forcing yourself into the new life? how consistent can u get when u try to wake up 6.30 in the morning for a jog and eating vegetables only for lunch and bread for dinner? n0 rice, no carbonated drinks, no fried food. and how... consistent can u force yourself to forget some1 when she's been ur head all day and nite? hmm.. i'll find out.. ' Okay, back to study... im having exam this week so i better buckle up for the papers.. frm all the subject, pray that i dun fail fuel system enough.. That lecturer will give a hell out from u when u fail, u have to prepare 30 question yourself in Microsoft, den u hv to let him ask u all the question, and after tat... he'll make u eligible for the RETEST, which is in subjective instead. and is farking hard.. All those that resit, 20+ ppl.. only 1 pass.. =.= damn.. lucky i pass my test 1, and hope i'll do the same this time. Beside that, my fren's fr...