I hate... ...

I hate snooker.. =.=bloody fk 4 games lose 40.. u can't ask a pool player to g0 play snooker right? promise my self won't play snooker ady. =X
I hate smoking as well. A day half pack makes my breathe smell bad. But Jz for social lar. haha.
I hate roti canai in the middle of the nite also. makes me gain back my freaking weight cz everynite i also mamak and Teh O Ais~ diu...
I hate driving alone to coll. boring and sleepy. only way to keep myself entertaint is loud music and 160km/h + lil bit potong potong.
I hate being lonely. it makes me think stuff that i duwan to think and heart wil jz bleed. hmm.
I hate being a faker. what's the point being some1 that isn't u and fking lying to yourself? Jz be truth to yourself and life wil go on easier~
I hate ppl that lie. I hate myself for that also. so i g0t no comment. =X
I hate ppl telling me in the ears what she and him is doing or at where or whatever bullshit fk up stories. .l.
I hate You, for being a liar which lies more than what u eat each day.
lastly, I hate myself for loving u dis much.

Fri nite~

Let's See what junk hav i did today? urm~ wake up, bath, breakfast, work, upload photos, den slp.. den since is holiday.. shop lot ppl.. den work until very busy as my lil bro and sis is enjoying themself in langkawi by now.. after that, went for ninja assasin in jj with josephs and fin.. Is a kick ass movie! haha. damn chun! and after movie was like 2.15am. fetch fin and her bro back. lepak a while at her hse. cz both joseph is talking bout car and im busy playing with johnson! is fin's golden retriever.. damn cute! haha.. den went mamak and do some guy talk, heart talk. and guess who i saw? =.= yuri tay~ small world, small msia, small town.. there's so many ppl i wish i can meet and say hi on the street, but there only one that i dun wish to see her and him no matter where i go. I read, i heard, i feel and it hurt me bad enuf, but if i see it with my own eye. it will be killing for me. hmm..

p/s thks to a glass of green scotch on rock. im going to bed now.everything seems to be too fuzzy

hopeless me

Love, can sometimes really be a joke to fool with. just a word, a paper, and some tears. make u hold on back to everything. thinking that there's some hope. mess around with ur feeling, and doing stupid things, hopeless thing that u keen on doing it eventhough is foolish.... every word she says u trust, u believe in 101%, but when u turn ur back for a moment, she stab u in ur back straight through the heart. heh. Is painful, but pain isn't anything new to me. is something that i've been holding onto for the pass 4months. i dunno when it wil end, or will it end? the scar, the ink, the love is already carve deep under me. sometimes it might be a sweeetdream and sometimes it might be a nightmare. but whatever it is.. i dun wish to wake up as long as u are in the dream. the Pain that i felt is something to prove that u're stil here, stil exist within me. and it wil never go away i can tel.. hmm.. y? so many things i dun und.. but the ans u gives me, it doubted me. and things that u done confirm my doubt. tel dis do diff in back. haiy. i really can't trust a word she say anymore. wait for my msg? bullshit. Fb delete? bullshit. think of me? bullshit. nvr let me go? Fk it. If u do feel so den u wouldnt fking go around with other guy. really non of ur words i can trust anymore. no more explaination no more bullshit needed. actions do all the speaking. A phase that i once teach u, and A phase that u used it back on me. Feelings, heart, brain, all of me has spilt into 2. everything is so messed up on me. i also dunno what to do next. A part of me stil very wants u, and another part is hating u for lying. dunno what the fuck are u thinking. is over for me, but is over, is not over with u or love for u. is over for all the trick, the things u putting on to my brain den turn around hurt me! wah. sound nice to ply right? a way to hurt the one that once hurt u? again again again again and again.. Q:how stupid can i be actually? A:Very stupid. E: y? cause you're a drug that im addicted with. and no matter how pain is it. i'll always addict to u.



'Twilight' A movie that v watched last time and say will watch again in future. but arent happening d. Cz i watched with jos liao. Ask u go watch, but u say.. 'today cannot lar'. Fking bullshit, mmg doing nth whole day. Scare ur lil kid angry only wert. lol. anyway.. really sweet story. i wish our love can last like edward and belle. not even death can set them apart. But me u? heh. is nothing compare to that kinda love. its broken so easily. 2 time club 2 time outing with normal girl fren. AND BB 3 yrs 1 month. While at back also u outing with other fella in PJ and nt telling a word bout it. lazy say d.. sorry readers for reading dis wastage of post. is jz a msg that i wan a particular person to see. good9

Another day wasted

Lil bit of sweetness jz like you

Jz another boring day in coll.. skipped all class.. and watching gundam at room. =D imagine how slack i can get. but who cares, is jz the revision week after all.
Yukiko ar yukiko~ y things can get so ngam wan in dis world? wanted bring her go goldcoast makan, but when i msg her, she's der d. wtf! =.- forget bout that, jz hv to bring her der next sem lor. im waiting for u to come back, hungry dao~~~ T.T sob.. ended up eating maggie. jz have to wait til she free only go find her lor. While waiting, i was trying to resize photos taken in melaka. damn.. cb making me frustrated only. hav to choose, open, resize, save, den upload! i couldnt find a software that can make the opening and resize fast! argh!!!!!! im so frustrated bout it! any pro can help? =(

Yet again, i was thinkin bout what she say to me yest. eventhough is jz a lil of her heart, but enough for me to keep living nicely. i hope u remember what u promise, i will do what i promise as well. 2 out of 1440 per day. hehe. i ON that plan with u also k? good nite.

Melaka Trip

Jz came back from my one day tour in melaka. =D is been more than 10 yrs since i've been there already. and thanks my mummy is understanding enough to gimme extra pocket money for the trip. as im so broke n0w.. =)

Let's get on with the story.. kel, so cal msia time which is suppose to be 8 but turn out to be 8.45, and v drove they with our own car. As he is gonna overnite and im gonna go back to study tmr. T.T

WE GOT NO GUIDE!
And der u go, 冤枉路.. a lot of 冤枉路. But we stil manage to reach where we wanted to go. =) thks to me. LOL. >.<

1stly, reach at 11+, den go jonker streeet, search 30min for parking. N went for Chicken Rice Ball! >.< 3 orang aje, tapi makan almost 1 chicken lagi tambah nasi. LOL.. after that we find for a walk at jonker street, bought some things. bla bla.. Find Kel's hotel and check in.. And drive all the way to aloh gajah to see elephant. haaha.. A'famosa. Dint really got much time to play, so we jz manage to go to the safari.

Evening time~ lets see. .Went to the portugese fort for a visit, and after that dunn0 wer the heck to go eat, so we went back to jonker to try the other stall of chicken rice. haha.. buy some 小食while walking also. so damn fking full.. And SATAY CELUP!!! been finding for whole day. and now that im fucking full.. U APPEAR!! summo 2 stall!! ish! too bad nvr got a chance to try em'. dun worry.. stil got next time. kekeke.. As time shortage, We went to eye of msia only, the other thingy thingy (which i forget what is called) got no time to ride d. One comment for Eye of msia, is fking bored. =.= or mayb is jz that the companion is diff? haiy.. almost 9.40 after we finish the ride. Go back kel hotel for my stuff, packed... and off to yuki hse.. had a rough time finding it though.. took me 1 hr 15m +- to reach her hse.. but now i know, next time will jz be 20min! xD

After fetching her and her sisters back. now here i'm.. blogging.. with one of my eye closed. Nite every1! Ugly pics wil be uploaded tmr. =)

I'm DOOM!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, im here blogging.. 2.27a.m. while awaiting my death to arise. is exam of 3 paper in about 6 more hours.. and i nvr really touch any book yet.. die anot? And i wed whole day class, i skipped whole day, and i slept whole day.. until 8pm.. Geng ler? and i felt down jz n0w, hurt my leg so badly. =( but i wont change my slipper!! never ever!!!! >.< Is yuki birthday! haha.. i went to find her early and had a simple celebration with her, as i kn0w that she'll be bz when the clock strike 12.. and finally she let me snap her picts d! haha.. xD after that, went back and study a while, and then out lagi with shirley. went makan Pan Mee and Sundae~ There goes my diet plan of the day. =.= okay.. i gtg.. books are waiting for me! tc!

*photo are cont on the previous post*

2 weeks b4~

2 weeks later~

(-@@-) Happy birthday Yuki!
=) *p/s Pls don't kill me for uploading ugly photos of u. =P
Shirley~
No thks, I'm full.. =p

P/s I hate fighting with u.. and u nvr gimme a chance to prove that i've changed.. 爱露又..

'i thought she was perfect
she thought i was perfetct too
perfect till she found some1 new
now im stuck in here watching her
i can't take this abuse
what does this guy do that i cant do?

Take me away right now...
... '

Plain white T's, all that we needed

Jz what i needed to sing my situation out. nitez!

2012

2012--checked! went 1u for 2012 today with louisa, john, and another fren of louisa~ quite nice the movie~ but too bad almost 98% of the human population dies~ or maybe lesser? =.= how many person can afford a 1B euros ticket per person?! i dun think my life cost 1B also~ haha.. pityful and nice story. to my reader, it is a mz watch!! after that, went for marche at the street for dinner, which is like a market place~ enviroment was okay lar.. but i dun like the food there.. jz took salad. then we went library for tetley after that.. i hope i get the beer name correct~ haha.. have to thank john good enuf to spend me the beer and thank me good enuf to buy my sis, louisa a shot of slippery niple~ what a shot to be remember huh? k, im so tired now. going to bed! nitez my love!

Fri~

Fuih~~~ thurs nite was a blast~ damn long nvr club d.. been almost 2 months.. Haha.. and guess what, what a 'small dance floor', i met chun hien there! party along with him all nite! reach back coll around 5+ and i was amazed that i stil can make it for the 8am class.. After class, 12pm, went back.. hv to fetch hong to Pj, sun bin drop at 1u buy 2012 movie ticket.. Q for 30min. ~.~ damn and i hate 1u.. too big for my pity feet to walk! Argh! nite time, joseph and joseph ajak pergi pool at sunway, planning to go 2nd round with kel, but too tired d.. Jz finish uploading some picts in Fb~ nite all~

Here some sneak peak of Some of the photos~i nvr really take pic though.. >.<

Party mode

without realising, is already thurs nite d~ without realising also~ monday to thurs also same ppl company me dinner~ xD mon- i see she eat, tues-i see her, she see me no eat, wed-she see i eat, and thurs v both eat~ LoL.. finally i feel the mood~ a while later i will be finally partying! xD been a while since i went to club d~ hope i hv fun tonight.. =)

Last Expression~

"mayb kao hao was right, this is just a blog to express my feeling towards u.. hmm.. think things are too late to go back d huh dis moment? tell the truth, i very bu sheh de, i very want u eventhough u hurt me break my heart so many times.. but forcing u to be with me will got no happiness... that's y i love you enough, to let u go away from my life~ i love you, that's y all i ever wanted u to be is to be happy, no matter u be with who.. baby happy den darling forever will be happy.. starting to feel my heart is walking away from u d.. OJT, 4 months, u wont be in coll anymore.. that time i already fully let u go d.. i hope those times is enuf for me to forget u.. 3 years 1 month.. all ended just lidet. u started this relationship and u ended it as well. hope your life wil really be better without me, i also will live my life to fullest d~ no more things will drag me from moving forward anymore~ i hope i can do it like how i say it, that scar however will hurt a while from times to times wan.. the scar u left behind for me, in my heart. <3>

Tuesday, finally Abdul hamid has turn smart and start checking the attendance list d, that means no more poteng class and asking fren to sign ur attendance. went to makan Duck rice in the noon, it was damn irresistable til i break my 1 apple and vege meal plan d.. -.- Damn, good thing happen! i pass my intrusment! woo hoo~ even is jz 75% ngam ngam pass but i stil happy, cause dis exam i fail nth! and score very very good in 3 more others subject also. went frisbee and the floor is wet! wah.. i nvr in my life play with naked feet on the field~ feel very song~ and dirty.. kakaka... gonna take a nap now and later going out to see how yuki cut her hair short! xD chao~

Monday~

Tired~ im so tired the whole day, and i of officially take action bout my diet plan d.. 'an apple a day make the doc go away, and 4 apple a day make jere thin!' yes, im torturing myself, breakfast a apple with egg and oatmeal, lunch, vege and apple, and dinner, 2 apple.. with a lot lot of water the whole day.. nvr took diet so serious b4, went for morning jog and also evening i will do some jog, swim if not will play frisbee! which i actually jz joined last week~ u'll nvr know how's a person word will change others lifestyle~ LOL.. and damn i glad water and electricity bill is finally cleared.. =.= owe til almost 500, wallet pain lor 1 ppl 100~ >.< there goes half of my pocket money.. and ya. i jz got blacklisted from my lecturer. wtf, i nvr slp also he say i everytime come class only know how to sleep bla bla infront of other 57 ppl~ =.= hate him.
After class i went to giant for grocerries, and then wanted to play frisbee but ended up helping mr.jonathan arrange the hanger workshop~ aiks.. den i jog back! haha... thats all for today, very tired.. going to bed d.. nite!

Miss

'I saw a customer of mine that makes me remind of u in the first sight~ her fringe, her nose, her face shape, her big big eye, and small skinny hand~ all also same like urs de~ 90% familiar.. really make me thought is u.. hmm.. den suddenly heart pound and i know i miss u in that sudden.. i really miss u. but i know is impossible anymore.. don't worry.. i will pull myself together and will forget u in all mean.. clock is ticking, and i will make it~ hang on jere! just till sem break den u won't have to see her anymore~ u got 4 months to totally wipe her off ur mind! u can do it i know~ Even, she used to be my life and i used i used to be her life.. but now isn't anymore she belongs to other ppl life and i belong to all'

She LALA post again~

went for movie again with cerd~ hehe.. makan bbq plaza and after that movie till 7.30~ she's an money eater.. spend her movie d summo wanna fight with me over bbq plaza bill! asshole k u bro~!! haha.. after that back shop and work.. and im going back to nilai after i finish today blog~ going back there all alone.. wish time would turn back.. good9 and take care!

Slack Day

"Jz another day pass without have to sad cause of u~ well.. i got a glimps though~ when i saw those pic~ but i dun giv a fk anymore. and thanks god i wasn't stupid enuf to buy u N'5, since some1 already planned to buy for u d. save up my 410 and since buy d also no meaning, cause i suddenly kinda got that stupid thinking of getting what u wan when i see u wan that perfume.. like alwiz i did b4, getting things that u wanted. but now i dun hav d lur~ save money.. go buy go spend things that got meaningful. im a fool.. a fool that used to trust what u say, and a fool will always be a fool. good9.. i will force myself to let go.. all i got is friends. at least they dun ever leave me"


Like i say it~ slack day.. haha.. whole day almost slacking and dint help my mum out.. >.<>.< after that went back for dinner and cerd came out.. planning to go for movie~ by the time v reach there.. phobia 2 takda then she wan pokerking, fully book~ =.= what to do.. go back lo.. but i always and like i say always got back up.. haha..went for pool a while and jeth~ win kel 3 buck french toast and milkshake.. nvr spend any money today.. =D Nite world~! im not lonely, what i got is friends..

Feeling Inside Me

"What's this feeeling inside of me? is so un-describeble, thinking so mess up, dunno which i shld follow. which thinking to follow? A part of me, ask me to forget her, ignore her, let her die herself. she done too many things to hurt u d. hurt until your heart get hurt again also numb d no feel d, not worth for u jeremy. Another part tell me, she done all those things because of me, hurting her at the 1st place, and she do all those thing is no wrong, jz forgive her and not to ignore her. While another part is telling me, think carefully when u make that choice, cause it might the final choice u made for her. u stil love her, u stil wan her deep inside of me. jz let things be and things mayb wil get clear one day. but u will bear all those pain with u while u waiting for that 1% miracle.. and it all will worth someday cause u stil love her deeply..
What should i do? thinking so mess up.. also got those 'got no got' thinking coming in and out frm my mind. I think i will jz let things be as for now. mayb i'll eventually forget her. the more im trying to fix, the more pain she bear and i bear. night and sorry"


test 2 is over!!! yay~ but i think i wil die at instrumental~ cause i d k a fk the book is saying. who cares anyway. fetch sheng to LCCT and went back ALONE after that. got no planning for the nite, so went for 2 movies~ hehe..

Movie Checklist
Jennifer's body (checked)
Poker king (checked)
Ninja (checked)
This is it! (checked)
Phobia 2 (checking-in tmr)
Time Traveller's wife and 2012? (reserved for her)

Going to sleep d.. good night.. and this is not a blog, is a dairy~

HATE U FOREVER

"im so angry im so piss im so out of control now, that i wish u would just die now. i need time to cool down. hmm.. dunno y morning time, something hit me and it really bring my mood down. i've been wondering, thinking and feeling the pain for the whole morning, afternoon and now. it even get worst after u FFK me. sien. i shlda know that a person bullshit cant be trusted for another time. this is what i get after trying to make myself to hope. fk it lar.. i shouldn't hope anymore. mutha fker lies and bullshit, and revenged is taken all by u d.. more than enuf d.. hope u happy with the status i'm now lor. i used to think that my heart is really hard and solid and always thought can take up and let go something really easily. but i found out is not that easy, and i don't think that i can do it either. u're touch that will make my heart heal and a word frm u will make my heart crush. Yea, i'm the emotional dog now. hand are bleeding and heart are crying. u'll never understand what i feel and what i have to go through.. i really need some1 to guide me what to do next. hmm.. :'( "

Finished 3 papers and have a really bad headache today. wish to see her to slp de.. but as a fren i couldn't make that happen anymore. really down today. Going out with yuki later. Chao~

Confession of a Broken heart

"u're a really really sucks drinker do u know that? =.= but i have the happiest nite on my emo days~ cause i stil kn0 that i'm inside there somewhere. the situation get until dis stage also not your fault, is just a silly mistake that u made out of anger, a silly mistake u made that can't be fix or un-do.. hmm.. i know that what happen yest night won't change a single thing between us. at least i hope u stil can live happily, and pls dun make another silly mistake okay? i also won't ignore u d. cause i know. whatever u do, whatever u say, or whatever i see or know, wont hurt me anymore. cause jere's heart already broken and cant be broken another time liao.. it wont heal d. hehe.. thats y im happy go lucky. i dont care what happen between u and others d. i just wanna do things that won't suficate me any longer."

tmr exam day, 3 paper~ T.T skipped 3 out of 4 class today~ LoL. after dat went swimming and met christine and michelle and jian ming there, haha.. so v play along lor. aiz.. hv bread again for dinner tonight~ got to buckle up to study d.. left another subject to go.. wish me luck! ^^

Big talk girl~

"really hate u, hate you for fooling around with my heart! how many time had u actually given me hope and jz walk away lidet and repeating the same thing over and over again d?! 5 times in the pass 2 months k! and is the 6th times today! jz the same as breaking and breaking a heart that is healing slowly.. in this rate i will nvr heal from the wound. Hmm.. Is true that i stil got love for u, but all... is doens't mean anything already for u, so why does it hav to mean anything for me? y are u talking jealousy word? u outside can find i cannot find?! u wanna change ur number and buzz off den u do as u like okay. jz remember what jere boi always says and always promise"

1st thing i get up in the 6, is a fking cramp on my leg! and no1 can save me~ T.T been suffering there in sleeping mood~ haha.. and Is been another busy day in coll~ mood went from normal to emo~ haiy.. and i learnt something funny from class today, is a principle of how the engine runs. SSBB (suck squueze, bang and blow) haha... is what the lecturer tell me, and my went went adding an0ther inside, SSBBE (suck, squueze, bang, blow and ejact) xD after that i went for frisbee~ and is very tired now.. wanted to get drunk but all she got is BIG TALK and no action. is been the same all the while. gtg~ Bye

Consistant~

' h0w consistant can u get when u suddenly turn ur life up side down and forcing yourself into the new life? how consistent can u get when u try to wake up 6.30 in the morning for a jog and eating vegetables only for lunch and bread for dinner? n0 rice, no carbonated drinks, no fried food. and how... consistent can u force yourself to forget some1 when she's been ur head all day and nite? hmm.. i'll find out.. '

Okay, back to study... im having exam this week so i better buckle up for the papers.. frm all the subject, pray that i dun fail fuel system enough.. That lecturer will give a hell out from u when u fail, u have to prepare 30 question yourself in Microsoft, den u hv to let him ask u all the question, and after tat... he'll make u eligible for the RETEST, which is in subjective instead. and is farking hard.. All those that resit, 20+ ppl.. only 1 pass.. =.= damn.. lucky i pass my test 1, and hope i'll do the same this time.
Beside that, my fren's fren involve in a accident jz outside my coll.. among so many Ppl, so many Car/motor.. he bang a motor with 2 police.. suay~ summo he inn0cent type.. s0 i hv to fetch my fren to find him in the hospital.. hope the prob wont get too big lar.. wish him luck.